Archive for the 'Being Fake' Category

The “She” Inside of Me
Being Fake, Confessions of the Soul | Sunday 2 May 2010
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So we all have this little person inside of us, you know the one that shouts all kinds of things to you throughout the day, always negative. Some refer to it as conscience, some refer to it as self talk, some say it’s the devil himself…..well I think of “her” as my worst enemy. And I listen to her FAR TOO MUCH and don’t shut her up as much as I should.

Tonight honestly, I really got sick of her “mouth” and rightly told her so. No, I really did…I was standing in the bathroom and I said “JUST SHUT UP!”

In about a 30-second time span, I evaluated what this little witch (for lack of a better term) has been telling me, my own self-talk that I have let go unbridled.

Just this week she’s told me:

You cannot sing….quit trying. You sound horrible.
Yeah, know that 8 lbs you just put on? You look disgusting…you are so fat…your legs are huge
You are a horrible Mom. You have hardly spent any time with your kids this week.
You are not a good wife
You are really messed up inside, a wreck…and you probably can’t be fixed
You’re not a friend worth having, you have nothing to offer
You’re too much, people really don’t like your personality
I wonder what they thought about you just now when you posted that on Facebook….they think you just want attention
You pretend you have it all together, but you don’t. You and I BOTH know better.
There’s really no point in sharing your testimony further…people will look at you differently once they KNOW

and there were more, but I’ll spare you the details.

I was SO SICK of her! I told her to SHUT UP!!! Have you ever truly listened to your self-talk and realize how often you let “her” or “him” get away with? So I sat down to this blog, and I thought let’s evaluate the truth versus the statements “she” was making to me.

*God qualifies who He calls. Moses stuttered, yet he went before Pharoah. Maybe I’m not the world’s best singer, but the words I had to sing I believed with my very soul and just maybe they reached the right heart at the right time.
*No, I was unable to spend as much time as I COULD with my kids this week, but I did make every effort this weekend to put my kids #1
*Yeah I’ve put on weight, but I have a treadmill looking at me in the face and I have the ability to do something about my weight.
*Last time I checked Randy didn’t tell me I was a BAD wife, so who made that determination? After all, isn’t HE the one that counts?
*I think we are all messed up, but God says His mercies are new every morning
*My personality is different, I am different. But God says I am beautifully and wonderfully made. He knew me while I was in my mother’s womb and knows the numbers of hairs on my head. I am HIS Creation, and God doesn’t make junk
*I would rather be open to the world and REAL than to hide and be fake on the outside to become who I think people want me to be. I can’t let people’s keyhole perspective of me and their limited viewpoints define who I am. I’ve already been defined by Christ.
*I’m not pretending to have it all together.. Only “she” said I was. I clearly know I do not, and don’t attest to. Because if I did, then Christ would receive no glory!
*I cannot let people who would never change otherwise stop me from sharing my story. Because those out there who need to hear it is so much greater than the one or two that would use it as a weapon against me. The Bible says “there is therefore no more condemnation to him who is in Christ.”

———-

So what self-talk has been going on in your head lately? Have you taken some time to really recognize when those thoughts come in your head, or do you let the talk ramble on and on and beat you down?

2 Cor. 10:4-5 says “For the weapons of warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds, Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”

….taking every thought captive and making it obedient unto Christ….

It’s changed my week….will you let it change yours?

People of the Second Chance - REAL ME week
Being Fake | Monday 11 January 2010
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If you haven’t heard of People of the Second Chance, they are an amazing group. It’s about Radical Grace in life and leadership. (Read more about them below)

POTSC is having a REAL ME campaign week. They are asking we post pictures of ourselves on our social networking sites as we are, no touchups, no makeup, no “trying to make ourselves look better than we are.” For all this week, post your “real me” picture on Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, etc. Tag #REALME on your status updates.

potsc.jpg

For more information about the REAL ME campaign, visit:
http://www.potsc.com/uncategorized/tired-of-looking-sexy-all-the-time-realme/

For more information about People About the Second Chance, read below and visit their site:

People of the Second Chance gives voice to a scandalous movement of radical grace in life and leadership. We challenge the common misconceptions about failure and success and stand with those who have hit rock bottom in their personal and professional lives. We are a community that is committed to stretch ourselves in the areas of relational forgiveness, personal transparency, and advocate for mercy over judgment.

We are not ashamed of our scars, wounds, or failures and leverage them as a source of strength and character development.

People of the Second Chance have experienced a second chance so we actively support social justice organizations and advocate for the vulnerable, forgotten, and left behind.

We are People of the Second Chance.

www.potsc.com

A whole bunch of something (God), from a whole bunch of nothing (me)
Being Fake, Confessions of the Soul, Just Stuff | Tuesday 15 September 2009
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I’ve been in this black hole for the last two months. Yeah, the last post was July….so yeah - I’ve been in a vacuum of sorts. Through this journey, I have picked up some nuggets along the way worth savoring. I don’t know if this will mean anything to anyone else…but frankly I don’t really care if anyone stumbles across this post (no offense) but I had to get something out of myself and get it written down.

1. Rest
Just because you can go 100 mph doesn’t mean you should. Burn out is real, and if you think it won’t happen to you - then you’re dumb. I’m sorry….but it’s the truth. I know, I’ve been dumb for almost a year now. It will catch you, and then throw you flat on your back while you are gasping for air wondering how you got there. Rest allows you to dream, gather from God, ponder so that great things can come out of you….if you don’t rest…you are running on fumes. And nothing good can come from that.

2. Be real
Russ Cripps, an awesome speaker and author (ahem-cough russcripps.com) said something at our Lifework Leadership Weekend that hit me like a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face - “You have to learn to lead in the midst of refinement.” Refinement is not fun. I have probably cried 3-4 days out of a 7 day week for the last 6 months. I cry all the time. I don’t say that to be funny, but it is the only thing I can do sometimes to keep my sanity. This has been without question the most difficult year of my life. Maybe I’ll post some on it here shortly, but I can’t go into it all now. Bottom line, refinement burns…hurts…stretches…pulls. You are empty. You have nothing to give….but we have to learn to connect with someone at this level.

How can you connect with someone in pain if you have not experienced great pain yourself?

3. God is okay with you not having it all together
Sometimes I pass little tidbits I hear along to others, and this past weekend one of those tidbits was repeated back to me reminding me of something very true….”When your hands are empty and you have nothing to give, that’s when God loves you best.” You have nothing in your pocket to pull out and make the magic happen….in other words, no effort of yours is going to result in anything productive, and it’s when God can truly get all glory and He can change who you are.

4. Perspective, perspective, perspective
I’m so sick of my issues, problems, stresses, doubts, fears….I decided to try something drastic. I decided to focus solely on the problems of others. I had a vehicle to help me get there, but I quit focusing on what I don’t have, what I think I should have, and how my life sucks. Believe it or not Jenny, there are others in far greater distress than you…why don’t you do something about it? A ministry was launched as a way for me to do that, and the story in the Bible which inspired me was the story of the Rich Young Ruler….he asked Jesus how to inherit eternal life. Jesus told him to take everything he had, sell it, and give it away to the poor. He didn’t get it though….which I don’t want to be in that boat.

See when you’re desperate, you’ll do anything. So I did it. I gave away a lot. And you know, it’s easier to be okay with having nothing when you choose to give it away than when you don’t have it and you gripe that you don’t have it - like someone owes you. It’s all about perspective.

5. Hope - my theme for the year
I needed hope, which sort of goes hand in hand with perspective. Hope is everything. Without hope, there isn’t anything. Read a post I did in December on the subject of hope….

A dear friend of mine sent me a picture, she said the girl in it reminded her of me. It totally was where I was in my life at the time….take a look for yourself….

HopeCloser

That picture told me that hope was closer than it appeared. Apparently the girl is running towards something that looks like a heap of rubble. I envisioned it to mean maybe her dreams, maybe she’d been running forever and thought something would be waiting for her. She’s only focused on what is not….but hope was right behind her. And close than she’d envisioned.

There is more to come….but at least now….it’s started to flow out of me. I feel like a weight is starting to lift….and ironically as the blog is called - it’s time to talk about it.

Are We Creating a new “Law?”
Being Fake | Thursday 21 June 2007
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I am not naming any organized religions, but if you get my gist have we in essence created a new “Law??”  You know the Law of the Old Testament which has been done away with…one based on performance and deeds and actions?  This came to me today when I was reading a Scripture from Galatians about the fruit of the Spirit. You know the one that names all the works of the flesh - idolatry, strife, hatreds, drunkenness, etc???  Look at verse 23 of chapter 5….

“Against such things there is no law”  Do you know what this means???  Forms of behavior are easy to legislate (drunkenness, strife, envy, jealous, idolatry, drugs, etc etc.) but you cannot command love, joy, peace and the things of the heart. These things are so far outside the LAW……but why don’t we focus on them??  If these are the fruits of the Spirit….these are the things we should be BEARING on our tree, why don’t we talk about them?

Why are we so focused on making sure that we aren’t going there, or aren’t DOING this, or that…..things that can be legislated by man.  It’s these character issues that are OUTSIDE the things we can legislate that we leave alone.

Is something terribly wrong here????