This week I did it. I confessed to someone something I had been HIDING. See, it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was humiliating. I had a bad attitude, and I had some jealousy issues. I was angry at them. I KNEW I needed to tell them thatI had been feeling this way about them, but who wants to do that?

God was tugging at me to do it, and finally I did. I unloaded on them. A pouring out of the soul. I had never been so raw and real with someone before about my nasty rotten thoughts about them. I was pretty sure they would be done with me, after all who thinks this way about people?

Have you? Come on, you know…when you look at them and think when something isn’t fair? Or maybe it should have been you and not them? The thoughts that run away from you when you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep….then it gets awkward to be around them because you are afraid they’ll catch on? Why the big secret? God already knows it…..and guess what? He’s keeping score.

I asked for forgiveness. And guess what - they forgave me. Imagine that. Now I don’t have to carry around that guilt, and resentment inside. I was forgiven….just that simple.

The point is, the more real you can be with people, and letting down your defenses, and showing that you too are imperfect, helps them to feel okay about themselves as well…and quite possibly could be the catalyst to inspire them to be real in their world, and more importantly with GOD.

So… GET REAL….

Sometimes it takes something big and bad for God to wake us up and get our attention. Usually the “something” stops us dead in our tracks, and causes us to almost feel like we are losing our minds, or having a breakdown. I have had this happen one time in my life, until now - time for Round #2.

We pray, “Change me, God….rework me, Change me” but sometimes I don’t think we know what we are praying. Changing requires me letting God undo my doings, and break down the kingdom I’ve built up. This is extremely painful. When I had Round #1, the change that happened within me was so painful, I thought I was LITERALLY losing my mind. My whole “world” collapsed around me, or so it seemed, but it was God knocking down my kingdom, and establishing His in my life.

I guess I’ve been praying that prayer again, because here we go again. This time, it’s a much deeper wound….as God draws out the deep-seeded issues inside my soul. These are issues that are at the root of who I am, which after God’s done I am sure will make me less of me and more of Him. The end result is so joyful, but the pain of the process is sometimes too much to think about.

I Peter 1:5-9
5 God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all - life healed and whole.
6 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime.
7 Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.
8 You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him - with laughter and singing. 9 Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.

So here I go continuing on this journey. This time I’m doing less instead of more. God is calling me to a re-evaluation of priorities. A self-audit. A backing away from the “work” of the Lord, to let Him “work” on me. No, it’s not fun….not it’s not easy….but I know it’s necessary.  Want to go with me? Just start praying the prayer for God to change you thoroughly inside. Note ** it’s going to be hard.  But do you really want to be more like Him?  Do you want to see people through His eyes?  Do you want to be whole inside without those insecurities and selfish motives that drive us all? It can only happen by letting the Great Surgeon perform open-heart surgery on us….and this kind of surgery doesn’t come with anethesia. It’s raw, it’s real, and it hurts.  But aren’t you glad it’s done in His hands??