1. I am seriously burn out. In every area of my life. How I got here I have no idea. It just seems like my intentions are good, but time escapes me and someone is left telling me I didn’t come through. Most of the time that someone is myself.
2. I do not have the answers, in fact less and less the deeper I get myself.
3. I count the things I am sure of. a) what God has called me to b) where I’m supposed to be c) who I’m supposed to reach
4. I don’t know how to get from point a to point b.
5. I focus on other people’s problems instead of my own, even though mine seem daunting. My problems seem to escalate reminding me of someone jumping up and down in front of me waving their arms to try to distract me. How can I not focus on the negative?
6. I see the negative aspects of myself clearer than ever. It doesn’t feel good. I guess I’m glad I am seeing this raw side of myself and realize I’m not as all together as I once thought.
7. I feel like when I need people the most, no one is ever there. I know this is not true, but the feeling remains the same.
8. In my great effort to make a huge difference, I feel like I am in a black hole.
9. I feel like a great number of people misunderstand me.
10. I am hugely insecure, and the older I get the more annoying that becomes to me. The self-talk that happens inside my brain will never shut up. Sometimes I want to slap that insecure girl and tell her to grow up. Why won’t she go away?
11. In spite of my shortcomings, I know I am blessed.
12. I try to see the good in any area I can and fight through the fog that overwhelms me.
13. I mainly write these things down now so that on the other side of it I can see where God was there all along. This is simply my white pebbles like in the story of Hansel and Gretel.
14. I will overcome. By the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony.
Are you on a journey??
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Jenny, you’ve got the most important things down; “I count the things I am sure of. a) what God has called me to b) where I’m supposed to be c) who I’m supposed to reach”.
Everything else will fall into place. Just rely on Him to guide your path. In prayer, come against anything that is not of God and bind it. Loose angels, blessings and protection. Sometimes taking a moment to reflect on your life by learning by the people you’ve reached, it brings things into perspective.